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Saturday, July 25, 2009

The IT / Software Industry ! Can i leave at 6.00 pm today ????

I have been part of the IT industry – the Delivery Line specifically (in the Datawarehousing technology) for a while now !! 5 years so to say (in which for around 10 months I was on a break). I have still not managed to figure out that how do projects most of the times go horribly wrong in estimates ??? Well, its not too diffcult !! Indian IT companies are known for bidding projects for lowest prices and unachievable deadlines so that they can get more projects and don’t we all know that an average programmer entering the IT induatry knows that its not a ‘9 to 5’ kinda job ???? It’s a ‘9 to 9’ job you see. That’s if your project is normally executing !! Yeah, right !!! I really wish for a day when this changes !! The norms have been set in the industry and I have been one oversincere dedicated worker who has worked beyond the 5 or 6.30 timeline to churn out success stories, but at what cost ?? Personal life goes for a complete toss !!! Dosent it ??? This ought to change !! I hope I can turn it around , if not for all atleast for myself !! And if all can turn it around for themselves mebbe we can turn it around for the industry !!! But how, I still have to figure that out ……
As for now, a compilation of some funny takes on software/IT in general !!!Enjoi !!

It's OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn't need to figure out code. You should be able to read it. - Steve C McConnell

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it. - Anonymous

If you can read this, thank a Software Developer. - Joseph M. Abou Nader

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. - Bill Gates 

God is real, unless declared integer. - Anonymous

A SQL query walks into a bar. He approaches two tables and says, "Mind if I join you? - Anonymous

"Drug dealers:Refer to their clients as "users". "The first one's free!" Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E". Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes. Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. Their product causes unhealthy addictions. Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.
Software developers:Refer to their clients as "users". "Download a free trial version..." Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM" Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!" - Anonymous

If you don't have a good system, make sure you get good users. - Anonymous

Pasting code from the internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street. - Mike Johnson

Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code. - Anonymous

Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies. - Linus Thorvalds

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code. - Christopher Thompson

I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine! - Vidiu Platon

The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later. - Dave Barry

I'd rather write programs to write programs than write programs. - Anonymous

Brooks Law: "Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later!" The best way to get a project done faster is to start sooner. -Jim Highsmith

The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the development time...The remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the other 90 percent of the development time. - Tom Cargill

How does a project get to be a year late?... One day at a time. - Fred Brooks

The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned. Many software tasks have this characteristic because of the sequential nature of debugging. - Fred Brooks

Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. -Martin Fowler

Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence! -Edsger Dijkstra

Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers think it is good for programmers and programmers hate it!. -Gerald Weinberg

Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined. -Kreitzberg and Shneiderman

Let us change our traditional attitude to the construction of programs. Instead of imagining that our main task is to instruct a computer what to to, let us concentrate rather on explaining to human beings what we want a computer to do. -Donald Knuth

Good code is its own best documentation. As you’re about to add a comment, ask yourself, ‘How can I improve the code so that this comment isn’t needed?’ Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer. -Steve McConnell

An organization that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only. -Bjarne Stroustrup

Design and programming are human activities; forget that and all is lost. -Bjarne Stroustrup

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. -Ralph Johnson

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. -C.A.R. Hoare

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. -Frederick P. Brooks

Simplicity is the soul of efficiency. -Austin Freeman

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free. -Steve McConnell

A good way to stay flexible is to write less code. -Pragmatic Programmer

The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. -John Ousterhout

You can't have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families. -Jim McCarthy

The perfect project plan is possible if one first documents a list of all the unknowns. -Bill Langley

Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. - Anonymous

... programming requires more concentration than other activities. It's the reason programmers get upset about 'quick interruptions' - such interruptions are tantamount to asking a juggler to keep three balls in the air and hold your groceries at the same time. -Steve McConnell

When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code. -Richard Pattis

Every big computing disaster has come from taking too many ideas and putting them in one place. -Gordon Bell


  1. hey.... nice collection ..... :) ... i m sooo proud of u sis... start by leaving at 6 and later point u can get on to asking leaves from ur manager ;)... that way ull be in total control... lol :D

  2. @ Herat: Hey bro !! I totally loved your response !!! I just wish i also had that fantastic guts (just like not wearing the tie ;-)) But yes, one day i shall leave at 6.30 or i shall leave IT ;-))

  3. Was planning to comment here. But it turned out to be so long - Read my thoughts here.


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